Big Boys Don't Cry

My Tears In His Bottle by Mary Meadows: "Thou countest my wanderings; put my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? - Psalm 58:8"

First, thanks to Ms. Meadows for her words: "Tear-bottles were small urns of glass or pottery, created to collect the tears of mourners at the funeral of a loved one and placed in the sepulchers at Rome and in Palestine where bodies were laid to rest. In some ancient tombs these bottles are found in great numbers, collecting tears that were shed with great meaning.


"As comforting as knowing God will one day wipe away every tear from our eyes is the thought that the one in heaven does not see our pain here as a pointless or empty occurrence. Just as our tears will be tended to in eternity, the psalmist reminds us that so our tears on earth do not go unnoticed. Our pain is not haphazardly viewed by the one who made tear ducts that spill over with grief and anguish. God has kept count of our sorrowful struggling; each tear is recorded as pain steeped with meaning. Like a parent grieving at a child's wound, God reaches out to you in your pain, speaking gently into your heightened sense of awareness. And with the Son who wept at the grave of Lazarus, God collects your tears in his bottle until the day tears will be no more."


However, Big boys don't cry. That was my upbringing. In one way or another I was taught to avoid crying. Girls like Mary Meadows might cry and write about it, but we big boys, never. How strange therefore to encounter these words in the writings of David, the warrior-king of Israel. He conquered the Philistine giant Goliath and killed many others. Yet here he is, openly admitting that he cries. How very unlike we who are descended from the northern Europeans, i.e. Germans and British. Stiff upper lip and all that.


OK, I'll admit it. I get teary eyed at funerals, weddings, syrupy movies, the birth of my grandchildren, graduations—oh, for goodness sake—in far too many ways. But, but then my childhood training kicks in and I try so very hard to cover it up: "I must be coming down with a cold, etc."


Hey, all you big boys, it's OK to cry! It really is. Jesus did it. He burst into tears  at the grave of his good friend Lazarus (John 11:35). There are all kinds of Bible references to men crying. Other examples: 

• Genesis 43:30 - Joseph wept when his brothers came to Egypt. 
• Job 30:25 - Job wept for men who struggled with hard times. 
• Luke 19:11 - Jesus himself wept over Jerusalem's refusal to accept his love and the impending doom that awaited them. 
• Romans 9:1-2 - Paul wept for his Jewish brothers who continued to reject Christ. 

We must not hide our feelings, bottle them up inside ourselves. This harms us in many ways. Read the link above. On the other hand, I know I won't change the attitude of many of us real men. We need to be strong, right? And tough, right?


OK, but know this. You still have feelings and Jesus understands them. He knows our griefs, our pain, our sorrows. Read again Isaiah 53:3 and Hebrews 2:17-18. He is like us men "in every respect." He understands even our reluctance to let our pain and sorrow show and is with us, nevertheless, to forgive and see us through them.