No Marriages In Heaven

In my last post I spoke about a trip we we were about to make and about the transiency of life. Our journey is over now. We are back home. We have completed our visit to a family reunion in Illinois. While there, I spoke with several widows. One of them commented that she still misses her husband greatly and is sad that the two of them will not be husband and wife in heaven. That, at least, is what she understands our Lord Jesus to have said, as recorded by the Gospel of Matthew.

The same day Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question, saying, "Teacher, Moses said, 'If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up children for his brother.'

Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no children left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh. After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her."

But Jesus answered them, "You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven." (Matthew 22:23-30)

Jesus pointed the Sadducees to the Scriptures and the power of God. What Scriptures? Where is it written that men and women "neither marry nor are given in marriage" in the resurrection? Since the Sadducees looked primarily to the Torah or the five books of Moses as the Scriptural source of God's commands, it is best to move there. What does the Torah teach about marriage? We look to the very beginning of Creation and Genesis 2 where we read,

The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:20-25).

The Apostle Paul interprets this passage as he discusses the relationship between a husband and wife.

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:18-33)

 Paul speaks about a great mystery. The mystery revealed through the Apostles is that God is a God of grace. His forgiveness and mercy have been revealed in Christ, mercy that extends to all mankind (Ephesians 3:6). It is grace, a gift. It cannot be earned. All mankind, all races, all genders, everyone is to be one flesh, one body in Christ. This has been God's eternal purpose from the beginning (Ephesians 3:9-11).

Even now in this present age Christian marriage reflects that plan. Wives reflect it by submitting to their husbands in everything just as the church submits to Christ. The word we translate as "submit" has obviously been a stumbling block for many wives. "In everything?" I've heard them ask. "You've got to be kidding."

The point is this: "the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior." What does that mean? Simply this. The body depends upon the head to nourish and cherish it. Eyes, ears, nose, mouth and brain are all located in the head. Cut off the head and the body dies. The head sees, hears, smells and tastes. This information is forwarded to the brain where it is interpreted. The mouth receives food and drink, tastes and swallows it. The body then receives it, absorbs it and is nourished and strengthened.

In the same manner, we are totally dependent upon Christ. We who are His body are utterly, totally and completely dependent upon His grace—all of us, regardless of age, size, race, culture or sex. This is why we respond in faith by exercising our wills, openly submitting, yielding to and obeying Jesus Christ as our Lord and God. We do it out of phobos, a Greek word often translated as "fear", a translation that needs to be expanded. It is more than "reverence" for Christ.  Fear of God in Christ has its roots in the O.T. It speaks of total awe, wonder, terror, dread, reverence, and respect for a perfectly holy, righteous, and just Creator. 


So all of us, male and female, willingly submit, subject and yield ourselves to the other members of the body out of phobos for Christ. We stand in wonder, awe, reverence, and the deepest respect before Him. He is our Head, Savior, Master, Redeemer and Lord. We respond to His grace by submitting ourselves to one another. 


In marriage this means that we husbands submit, subject and yield ourselves to our wives, acting as their heads. We nourish guide, protect and provide for our wives, all because we believe this is what Jesus, our Head, does for us. 


A Christian wife believes the same thing. Out of reverence (phobos) for Christ, she respects, subjects and yields herself to her husband. Paul actually uses the verb form of phobos when he speaks of this respect. His point is that the believing wife treats her husband as if  he were Christ. She shows her love for Jesus by this kind of respect for her husband. 


So where is all this going? Simply here. In the resurrection the mystery will be completed. In the new creation all of us will joyfully and willingly have only Jesus as our LORD and God. We will completely love, honor and serve Him and in so doing we will honor His Father (John 14:9-14). Marriage in this age is a type of Christ's union with His body, the church, His bride. He came to earth to unite us to Himself. We are made to be one with Him, His flesh and bone, but were are separated from Him by our sinful nature (Pss. 51:5; 58:3). We have now come with Him from the "deep sleep" of His death into a new life of oneness with Him. We are bone of His bone and flesh of His flesh. And when He returns the wonder of that gift will be fully realized. 


We have here but a glimpse of what that fullness will mean. On that day we will be like the angels, ever rejoicing together in His presence and power forever. We will certainly know one another in heaven. We will not miss our marriages nor pine away for their loss as do some widows in this age. Something more wondrous awaits us all, as we are bonded to our heavenly Husband and His Father and to one another in ways never before possible, even in marriage.