Family Conflict And Covetousness

Conflict among family members is common and often unavoidable. And rarely is family conflict more apparent than when issues involving life and death are present.

Doctor mediates family disagreements that stem from end-of-life issues: 

Dr. Edward P. Hanna facilitates mediation for families that are in conflict regarding end-of-life issues, including end-of-life care and estate settlement. A mediator is not a lawyer, although lawyers are sometimes involved in the settlement of these issues.

"What happens is that mom and dad plan, but they don't communicate those plans for end-of-life issues and distribution of assets," Hanna said during a recent seminar sponsored by the Circle of Life Coalition Inc., a nonprofit organization that seeks to educate the public on issues relating to the end of life.

The lack of communication results in misunderstanding, which leads to conflict. In cases where family members were not communicating well prior to the crisis situation, resolving that conflict becomes even more difficult.

In the Gospel of Luke we read that Jesus was asked to serve in this capacity.

Someone in the crowd said to him, "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me."
But he said to him, "Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?"
And he said to them, "Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." - Luk 12:13-15 ESV

This is indeed a much needed warning. The occasion prompted our Lord to tell the story of a rich man whose holdings had just made him even richer. As a result he set out to expand his business (Luke 12:16-21).

By the way, do you know who are the 20 richest people in the world? Bloomberg News yesterday launched its current list. Not many surprises. The top three remain on top. They include Carlos Slim Helu, Bill Gates and Warren E Buffett. I have a hard time imagining what one could possibly do with a billion dollars, let alone over 40-60 billion. But I'm sidetracked.

Jesus' rich man expanded his business and congratulated himself. He had done well. He had invested wisely, hired the right people, laid out his business plans, tricked his competitors and now he could say congratulate himself in his soul, "Man, you've got it made. You worked hard and now's the time to enjoy life. Now's the time to take that ship of  yours and cruise to your favorite island to eat, drink all you want and party all night. Its what you've dreamed about all these years."

One problem. That night he died! Maybe it was a heart attack. Nobody could be certain. What was certain was that this man stood before the Judge of all that night to give an account, not of his personal wealth, but of what he had done with what the Lord of us all had entrusted to his hands.

In the days of my pastoral ministry I frequently observed and occasionally became involved in such family quarrels. Critical in those times is the counsel of Jesus about how we who follow Him are to view our lives, our food and our clothing. There's a lot more to life than food and much more to the body than clothing. Study the rest of Luke 12. Its full of wisdom.

Back to Dr. Hanna's point. Do you have a will? Do your parents have wills? Has your family talked about these end of life issues—before mom or dad dies? Need I say any more?

The Witness of Sweet Perfume

In John 12: we read that Mary of Bethany, sister of Martha and Lazarus, took a whole pound of spikenard to anoint the feet of Jesus and then wipe his feet with her hair. This seems like a very strange and easily misunderstood act. What was she doing? And why?

 Spikenard Aralia racemosa, 

Spikenard is an aromatic flowering herb native to the Himalayan Mountains of India and Tibet. It was highly regarded in India as a perfume, a health-supporting herb, and a skin tonic. It is a relaxing and soothing oil for the skin. In Biblical times it was exported to the Holy Land in boxes carved from alabaster.

Spikenard was one of the most precious oils in ancient times, used only by priests, kings, or high initiates. A pound was literally a litra in Greek, equal to about 11.5 ounces or 327 grams. Judas, the treasurer of Jesus' disciples group, asked, "Why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?"In those days an unskilled workman could make about a denarius per day (Matt. 20:2). So given today's federally dictated minimum wage in the USA of $7.25 an hour times say an eight hour day, a denarius would be worth around $60-70 in today's terms. Multiply that by 300 and you have a jar of perfume worth at least $18,000!  

John tells us that Judas asked his question, not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief, and having charge of the moneybag, he used to help himself to whatever was put into it. Indeed, this would have been a sizable chunk of money to access. 


Jesus' reply to Judas is also interesting. "Leave her alone," he said, "because she has done a beautiful thing to me. For the poor you always have with you, but you don't always have me. In pouring this ointment on my body, she has done it to prepare me for burial. Truly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her" (Matt. 26:10-13).

Several questions arise from this narrative. Ordinarily one would expect Mary and Martha—probably still quite young—to be married. Why weren't they? They were certainly affluent, given that they had such an expensive product in their home. Some have conjectured that they were in business with the fishermen of Galilee. No one knows the background of this fascinating family, closely tied to Jesus and his followers.

Here's a simple observation for all of us who have been entrusted with wealth of any sort. It does not belong to us even though we may claim to have earned it (1 Cor. 6:19-20). Mary understood this. She gave her heart to Jesus and with that all her wealth. The ointment was a token of her devotion. In turn, her action teaches us that wealth of any sort is given to us so that we may witness to the gospel that proclaims Jesus' death and resurrection. This is a fitting reminder to us believers as we enter Holy Week to follow Jesus to the cross and from there to the open tomb of Easter.