What More Could I Have Done?

I feel compelled on this Christmas Eve day to reply to what you, my anonymous friend wrote as you reflected upon my December 19 Blog: Questions On The Journey. You wrote,

"As I am just beginning my seventh decade of life, I find I am wrestling with some of the same questions. I must confess that I have spent maybe too much time wondering "How many of them will continue the endless journey with me in that country called Heaven?" In this regard I probably also feel a little sad when I reflect on what more I could have done--particularly as relates to my children and still I cling to the promise, believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved--you and your household. I know that faith is God's doing; but surely He needs my help-- doesn't He?"

What believing parent doesn't struggle with such questions: What more could I have done? Doesn't the Lord Jesus need my help?

I often encountered similar questions in the days of my public ministry as I heard parents blaming themselves for the sins, shortcomings, failures and even unbelief of their children. "What more could I have done?" they asked. "What did I not do to keep my son from getting into drugs? How did I fail my daughter that she became pregnant out of wedlock--and secretly had an abortion? Where did I go wrong that I have a son who is now in jail for stealing and writing bad checks?"

The list went on and on.

As I hear you asking the same questions, the most important thing I can do is point you to a promise given by our God through the Apostle John. Read about it in 1 John 1:

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

What does the Apostle say? He says that you must listen to your conscience. If you try to deceive yourself you avoid the truth. The truth is hard to look at. You may have contributed to the direction your son or daughter took with his or her life. Do not attempt to hide from it. What you want, above all, is for the truth to be in you.

But do not stop there. Do not allow your guilt to drag you down into the pit of despair and hopelessness. That is precisely what happens to many parents. And when it does the devil leaps with joy. Instead, the counsel of the Holy Spirit is to confess your sin.

But what does that mean? What does it mean to confess your sin?

It may be necessary to be specific about the guilt you carry. Such confessing can best be done in private, before a trusted believer. But even better, confess before a pastor called to speak on Christ's behalf. Look at your sin and own it before him.

Here the Bible gives us the example of King David to follow (see 2 Samuel 11-12 and Psalm 51). David failed himself, his marriage, his children, his nation and his God by his affair with Bathsheba. Ultimately he was confronted by the prophet Nathan who served as his personal spiritual advisor and pastor. David confessed his sin and Nathan announced the LORD's forgiveness. It was absolutely necessary that David own up to his failings and then hear God speak to him through his pastor. Nathan said, "The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die." That Word of forgiveness empowered David and renewed him, even though he had to suffer through the short term and long term consequences of his sinning.



So, my friend, heed the counsel of the Spirit. Meditate upon 1 John 1. Turn over in your heart and mind what the LORD is saying to you. Listen to your conscience. Confess your sin, if necessary before your pastor. And then joyfully receive the forgiveness of God.

And go in peace. All is in the hands of your loving God, including the children for whom you daily pray. Today we celebrate Christmas. We remember again why Jesus was born of Mary. As the angel said to the shepherds, "Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord" (Luke 2).