Leave, Cleave and Weave

Beverly and Max

Last weekend I was privileged to help Beverly and Max renew their marriage vows on the occasion of their 40th anniversary. Some of their dear friends and family members joined Sylvia and me to celebrate the occasion.

This happy time brought back memories of the many couples whose weddings I blessed with the Word of God and prayer. It has long been my custom to counsel with these couples before the actual ceremony. Our discussions in those pre-marital sessions revolve around three Biblical concepts from Genesis 2: Leave - Cleave - Weave.

Leave - A man leaves behind his childhood to move into the mature responsibility of being a husband. A woman leaves the protection and care of her family to come under the loving care of her husband. Of course it isn't always quite that simple; many scenarios precede any given marriage. The point, however, is that the man and the woman are leaving the past behind and moving forward to something new.

Cleave - I have learned to use that word to describe the next step in this wonderful process in its earlier, secondary meaning: adhere to, hold to, abide by, be loyal to, be faithful to. This is what marriage is all about. For the remainder of their lives these two will cleave to one another to the exclusion of all others. That leads to the next and related process.

Weave - They spend their lives becoming one. This is where the challenges arise, particularly because of our human natures. A husband and a wife remain separate individuals who must struggle to overcome their self-centered sinfulness. Failure to do this leads in all too many cases to adultery and divorce. But, as in the case of Max and Beverly, when couples learn to accept, forgive and love one another, the weaving leads to celebration and happiness.

It is fascinating that the Apostle Paul interrupts his instructions about marriage with these words: "This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church." What could he possibly mean?

The mystery revealed is indeed profound. Our heavenly Father loved this broken, adulterous and fallen world of men, women and families. This is why He sent His Son. Jesus came, leaving behind His glory and majesty to become one with us in our sin. He loved us and sought us out in a love far beyond that of any husband. He bound Himself to us by His life and His death upon the cross. Our griefs and sorrows became His. He was separated from His God for us. And now we are about to celebrate again His victory and the marriage feast of the Lamb of God. In a week a large portion of our world will share anew the news: "Christ is Risen! Alleluia!"

We who are His Bride, the Church, will spend eternity weaving our lives with and into His. This has already begun as He lives in us and we in Him in a relationship far deeper and more wondrous than any human marriage.

Beverly did not know what Max and their son were planning. The celebration was a complete surprise to her. And that is indeed what we who learn to know about the love and mercy of Jesus experience as well. How could He have such love for us? But He does and that is indeed something to celebrate--forever!