Honoring And Caring For The Elderly

Since I am one of the senior citizens of this land, it seems wise to prepare for the inevitable. My body continues to age—there seems but little I can do to alter that fact. I have annual checkups with my docs and follow a planned regimen of a healthy diet and exercise. My wife and I are fairly active in our social life. We interact with friends and family every day. We went with friends out to eat and to a concert this past weekend. We spent an hour on the phone last night planning a cruise in the Caribbean with our family next summer. The planned cruise will follow the graduation of our granddaughter from college.

Yet the time approaches when my wife and I may not be able to manage our own affairs. We'll need the assistance of our children and/or professional caregivers. That's why, as the new year turned, we did an extensive review of our financial situation. Do we have sufficient funds to cover the possible need for home health care? What if we have to move to an assisted living community? We came away from that review satisfied that we are in a relatively good position. I say relatively, because we also realize that we simply cannot foresee every possible scenario. Nor are we going to spend the remainder of our lives imagining the worst. 

In poking around on the internet I found a helpful site, one that speaks both to those of us who are seniors and those of you who will or already do face the challenge of caring for your parents or relatives. I commend it to you. It's called Aging Care—connecting people caring for elderly parents. Lots of good stuff there and many helpful links. Check it out.

This task of caring for aging parents and relatives is not easy. And the fact is there's a whole lot more of us now than ever before. Here's an interesting 2009 comment on life expectancy by Tara Parker-Pope in The New York Times: 

Americans are living nearly two-and-a-half months longer, according to new life expectancy statistics released today. In 2007, life expectancy in the United States reached a high of nearly 78 years, up from 77.7 a year earlier. 

Life expectancy in the United States has been on the rise for a decade, increasing 1.4 years — from 76.5 years in 1997 to 77.9 in 2007, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The life expectancy data, compiled by the agency’s National Center for Health Statistics, are based on nearly 90 percent of the death certificates filed in the United States. 

Doctors say that not only is lifespan increasing, but more important, the “active” lifespan is increasing as well. 

“The most noteworthy aspect about all this is not just that people are living longer but living better,” said Dr. Gary Kennedy, director of geriatric psychiatry at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, N.Y. “At the same time, people are living a longer active lifespan. Seniors are healthier, more active and economically better off than they ever have been.”

So many of us are going to be around a lot longer than a few decades ago. This presents challenges—and benefits—to communities and governments as well as families. What are some of the things the Bible says about all of this? Here are a few quotes:

For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh. The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you? So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. - Psa 90:10-12 ESV

The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the LORD; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the LORD is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him. - Psa 92:12-15 ESV

The glory of young men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair. - Proverbs 20:29 ESV 

Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. - Proverbs 23:22 ESV

Good counsel from the LORD Himself. A heart of wisdom has to do with learning both about our sinfulness and also our Savior, Jesus, God's wisdom (1 Cor.1:24). Guided by Him we become both aware of life's brevity, regardless of our age, and life's hope, reaching into eternity.

And note the promise about the righteous, that is  those who walk by faith. "They are ever full of sap and green." Yes, we have His life flowing within and a whole life of experience to share how He blesses, rebukes, forgives and guides. Not all wisdom resides in the youth. We grey hairs have much to share. And so we shall, with love and patience as the opportunity arises.

And finally, a word of encouragement to all caregivers of us elderly. Think about what your parents gave to you. Life is much more than physically breathing, drinking, eating and walking around. Your parents gave you family life and an extended family, guidance and support as you matured and above all, they led you to Him from whom all life flows, even Jesus. If any or all of this is true, you have the responsibility in love to actively listen to them and honor them as they age. Many blessings flow from following the command to honor your father and mother. He promises that your life and the lives of your children will be blessed by the LORD who gave us this command from the beginning:

"'Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you. - Deut. 5:16 ESV