Help For Single Moms

I have been writing about motherhood this week, but today I write about single motherhood and want anyone who may read these words to lift up this concern with their church and Christian fellowship. This question was lifted up again for me last Friday evening when I attended a banquet to raise funds for the work of Pregnancy Assistance Center North (PACN), located in Montgomery County, just to the north of Houston.

Did you know that . . .

• Single Moms are the fastest-growing population in the world
• Single Moms are the highest unchurched population in the world
• 95% of Single Moms are unchurched
• 18 Million Single Moms in U.S – 17 Million are unchurched
• 37 Million Children live with a Single Mom
• 53% of the births in 2011 are children of Single Moms under 30
• The already small number of Single Moms in the church are leaving at a rapid pace
• Single Moms feel both judged and that they do not fit in at church

But all is not hopeless for single moms. Here's what a recent study learned:

The Powerful Force of a Mother's Influence: "Having a man in the house (and the added income he represents) can be a good thing, but the message here is: If you can't be with two parents, you're better off with your mother than you are with your father or anybody else," Biblarz said.

So what is the Christian church doing to assist single moms?  One resource is  called Hope4SingleMoms.com — The 21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom.

Read a free pdf. about the first three of those principles from the book

• Hope
• Identity
• Victory

The material was designed and written for single moms by Lori Little, herself a single mom. She writes,

Whether you are a teen, never married, divorced or widowed single mom, the "21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom" will encourage you to flourish in the midst of your overwhelming circumstances; leading you to live a life of purpose and meaning, focus and order, balance and harmony. The 21 Principles was designed for a single mom by a single mom. These 21 Principles will take every single mom to a new level by equipping you with positive instruction and practicle tools that will inspire you to live well as a single mother, and raise healthy children. EVERY 21 PRINCIPLES LEADERS KIT AND BOOK COMES WITH 21 FREE ONLINE INTERVIEWS WITH myself and Dr. Charles Stanley, Kay Arthur, Elizabeth George, Jill Briscoe, Michelle McKinney Hammond just to name a few. 

Lori Little became a single mom in 1996 when her son was just two years old; and she is still a single mom in 2011. Lori's background was in Corporate Business Development and sales, and she was also the former Director of John Maxwell's Thrive! division. More important though, Lori Little has the understanding and commitment gained from thirteen years of single motherhood.

Here are also a couple testimonials:

Lori Little not only talks the talk of the 21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom, but she walks the walk. I want to affirm to you that Lori lives out these principles in her daily life! The Principles you read about in this book have literally been birthed in Lori by the Spirit of God. I have personally seen God take Lori from being a wounded, broken, insecure single mom, immerse her in Truth, heal her wounds and make her stronger than she could have ever been on her own! God has transformed her into a strong, courageous single mother who is raising and incredible son, and His desire is to do the same for you. --Dr. F. Bobby Atkins

A book of this kind and caliber is past due, and who better than Lori Little to lead the way? Lori loves the Lord, loves her family and loves to encourage other single moms. Her 21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom are a godsend. --Elizabeth George, Author of a Woman After God's Own Heart

There are certainly other resources. What concerns me is that local churches give attention to the support of single moms in their communities. I think about the many I've known in the congregations I served as pastor. I thank the Lord for the support they received from their families and their congregations. I pray that this is duplicated over and over again in many other places. 

My Identity

A while back in our carport I hung a sign that reads "Parking for Germans only." The sign was a gift from one of our children. It reflects my heritage on my father's side of the family. I trace my descent back to England on my mother's side. My wife is German on all sides. 

This brings up the question of our family's identity. We used to be Minnesotans, having grown up there, but nearly thirty-seven years ago we moved to Texas, so now we are Texans, Houstonians and Aggies, among other things. The Aggie part is something I personally have adopted because two of my children and, so far, two of my grandchildren have attended Texas A&M. 

Here's a story about the Aggie side of my identity. 

An Aggie came into a store and couldn't find what he wanted. So he asked one of the clerks, "Where can I find some summer sausage?" 

The man broke out laughing and finally said, "You must be an Aggie." 

The Aggie got quite angry. "So what if I am," he replied. "What's that got to do with sausage? You wouldn't tell me I was a Mexican if I asked for tacos, would you? Or a German if I wanted some bratwurst. Or an Irishman if I asked for Irish Whiskey. What's the deal anyway?" 

The man was bending over by this time. He could hardly contain his glee. Finally he got control of himself. "It's just, it's just...that this is The Home Depot!"  

One thing about Aggies. We like to have fun and make fun of ourselves. As I write that I'm wondering if that might also be an important part of the most significant side of my identity, namely being a believer in Jesus of Nazareth, the promised Messiah and Savior of the world. In him I have every reason to be positive and delighted. I have every reason to see the positive side of life. I have every reason to look forward and laugh in anticipation, for in Christ Jesus I am certain that death has no more threats for me. With Jesus I share a life that will never end. 

So what if I am an Aggie? Or a German? Or an Houstonian? Or an adopted Texan? They're all important--to me and to my family. But the most significant thing of all is this wonder: I am a Christian, adopted and reborn into my forever family.