Help For Single Moms

I have been writing about motherhood this week, but today I write about single motherhood and want anyone who may read these words to lift up this concern with their church and Christian fellowship. This question was lifted up again for me last Friday evening when I attended a banquet to raise funds for the work of Pregnancy Assistance Center North (PACN), located in Montgomery County, just to the north of Houston.

Did you know that . . .

• Single Moms are the fastest-growing population in the world
• Single Moms are the highest unchurched population in the world
• 95% of Single Moms are unchurched
• 18 Million Single Moms in U.S – 17 Million are unchurched
• 37 Million Children live with a Single Mom
• 53% of the births in 2011 are children of Single Moms under 30
• The already small number of Single Moms in the church are leaving at a rapid pace
• Single Moms feel both judged and that they do not fit in at church

But all is not hopeless for single moms. Here's what a recent study learned:

The Powerful Force of a Mother's Influence: "Having a man in the house (and the added income he represents) can be a good thing, but the message here is: If you can't be with two parents, you're better off with your mother than you are with your father or anybody else," Biblarz said.

So what is the Christian church doing to assist single moms?  One resource is  called Hope4SingleMoms.com — The 21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom.

Read a free pdf. about the first three of those principles from the book

• Hope
• Identity
• Victory

The material was designed and written for single moms by Lori Little, herself a single mom. She writes,

Whether you are a teen, never married, divorced or widowed single mom, the "21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom" will encourage you to flourish in the midst of your overwhelming circumstances; leading you to live a life of purpose and meaning, focus and order, balance and harmony. The 21 Principles was designed for a single mom by a single mom. These 21 Principles will take every single mom to a new level by equipping you with positive instruction and practicle tools that will inspire you to live well as a single mother, and raise healthy children. EVERY 21 PRINCIPLES LEADERS KIT AND BOOK COMES WITH 21 FREE ONLINE INTERVIEWS WITH myself and Dr. Charles Stanley, Kay Arthur, Elizabeth George, Jill Briscoe, Michelle McKinney Hammond just to name a few. 

Lori Little became a single mom in 1996 when her son was just two years old; and she is still a single mom in 2011. Lori's background was in Corporate Business Development and sales, and she was also the former Director of John Maxwell's Thrive! division. More important though, Lori Little has the understanding and commitment gained from thirteen years of single motherhood.

Here are also a couple testimonials:

Lori Little not only talks the talk of the 21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom, but she walks the walk. I want to affirm to you that Lori lives out these principles in her daily life! The Principles you read about in this book have literally been birthed in Lori by the Spirit of God. I have personally seen God take Lori from being a wounded, broken, insecure single mom, immerse her in Truth, heal her wounds and make her stronger than she could have ever been on her own! God has transformed her into a strong, courageous single mother who is raising and incredible son, and His desire is to do the same for you. --Dr. F. Bobby Atkins

A book of this kind and caliber is past due, and who better than Lori Little to lead the way? Lori loves the Lord, loves her family and loves to encourage other single moms. Her 21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom are a godsend. --Elizabeth George, Author of a Woman After God's Own Heart

There are certainly other resources. What concerns me is that local churches give attention to the support of single moms in their communities. I think about the many I've known in the congregations I served as pastor. I thank the Lord for the support they received from their families and their congregations. I pray that this is duplicated over and over again in many other places. 

More On Human Conception And Plan B

In my last post I shared research about Americans of all ages having premarital sex. This brought up the question of Plan B one-step contraception, a pill opposed by many in the Christian community. The controversy stems from the long-held debate about when human life begins.

The pill works by elevating a female hormone called levenorgestrel. The hormone causes extra mucous to be released along the uterine wall, which prevents ovulation and fertilization if taken within 72 hours of unprotected intercourse. Discovery Health explains how Plan B works. They also tell us that . . .

"scientists aren't completely sure how it works, they believe that levonorgestrel prevents pregnancy either by stopping the ovulation process or by disrupting the ability of sperm and egg to meet in the fallopian tubes. Some speculate that the drug may prevent the fertilized egg from implanting as well, perhaps by making the uterine lining less receptive to the egg."

There is also a levonorgestrel intrauterine system, a plastic device that can be placed in the uterus where it slowly releases the hormone to prevent pregnancy for up to 5 years. This progestin hormone does not contain estrogen.

There are numerous possible side effects to the use of levonorgestrel. The medication should not be used if a woman has abnormal vaginal bleeding, pelvic infections and a variety of other situations. The intrauterine system can cause cramps, pelvic pain, heavy bleeding, fever, chills, etc. All these are matters that must be discussed with medically trained personnel.

By the way, Plan B is not the same as RU-486 or mifepristone, a completely different drug that performs a chemical abortion in women who are up to 8 weeks pregnant.

The central moral issue in this discussion is whether the Plan B process prevents sperm from fertilizing eggs, or whether the process takes a life. If indeed human life begins with conception, the union of sperm and egg, then the Plan B pill is potentially killing innocent human lives. It is a form of abortion. Dr. David Menton, in Answers in Genesis asks, Plan B—Over-The-Counter Abortion? He answers with a detailed outline of birth control pills and the process from fertilization to implantation. He says that some medical dictionaries have changed the definition of conception.

Medical embryology textbooks have long equated fertilization with conception and thus the beginning of a new human life. Essentially all dictionaries of the English language have defined “conception” as “the fertilization of an egg by a sperm.” But some within the scientific community are now changing the definition by shifting the moment of conception (and thus pregnancy) from fertilization to implantation. Stedman’s Medical Dictionary, for example, now defines conception as “the implantation of the blastocyte in the endometrium” (27th Edition, Lippincott Williams & Wilkins). By this new definition, a drug or procedure that prevents implantation of the embryo would simply prevent conception and pregnancy, and thus it would not be considered an abortion. 

Dr. Gene Rudd, an obstetrician and associate director of the Christian Medical Association, has pointed out that the packaging information for Plan B violates the vital medical principle of informed consent because it “falsely assures women that they are not taking the life of a human being when they take the pill.” Dr. Rudd said that “while some within the scientific community have obfuscated for political reasons the terms associated with early human development, a significant percentage of women still consider pregnancy to begin with fertilization.”

Dr. Menton concludes that children are God's precious gift and quotes some Bible verses, but it seems to me that he still does not adequately answer the question of when human life begins from a biblical viewpoint. I'll go into more detail in my next post.