No Discipline Seems Enjoyable At The Time

The ancient proverb says, "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." - Pro 27:17 ESV. This is the concept behind discipline. When you come against someone as hardened and strong as you only one of two things follow. You will be changed by that encounter. Either you will be defeated and collapse or you will become sharper and better prepared for the next encounter. Iron does sharpen iron.

Picking up on this, the Hebrews writer speaks about discipline (paideia in Greek). Our heavenly Father loves us and wants us to grow stronger and stronger in our faith convictions. This chapter is devoted to spelling out the Father's understanding of discipline.

For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. - Hbr 12:6-11 ESV

Notice that our Father both disciplines and scourges us. Jesus was scourged and flogged by the Romans before His crucifixion. Roman scourging was so severe that those crucified often died from it shortly after being crucified. There is another proverb about the LORD treating His children in this manner.

My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights. - Pro 3:11-12

 Here we face the harsh reality of how our LORD (the Lord Jesus as well) deals with us who are His disciples. And it is no fun ! Make no mistake about this. You and I are God's children, reborn and adopted into the family by being baptized into Jesus Christ. But follows now the rest of the journey to the Father's house. Our sinful human nature remains. And it fights against the new life we have received in Christ. Consequently we are disciplined, scourged, reproved and rebuked for sin. As we endure such discipline, at times the Lord seems to be the enemy, coming at us with great hostility. It seems as if He wants to destroy us. We are only a moth to be crushed as we flutter about the light of a candle. We are nothing more than a mere breath, a shadow! The whole enterprise of life seems pointless in those moments. We are spent, exhausted, worn out.

Listen to David as he struggles with the LORD's discipline and consider the emotions behind his words.

"O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!    Selah

Surely a man goes about as a shadow! Surely for nothing they are in turmoil; man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather! 

"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. Deliver me from all my transgressions. Do not make me the scorn of the fool! I am mute; I do not open my mouth, for it is you who have done it. 

Remove your stroke from me; I am spent by the hostility of your hand. When you discipline a man with rebukes for sin, you consume like a moth what is dear to him; surely all mankind is a mere breath!    Selah 

"Hear my prayer, O LORD, and give ear to my cry; hold not your peace at my tears! For I am a sojourner with you, a guest, like all my fathers. Look away from me, that I may smile again, before I depart and am no more!" - Psa 39:4-13 ESV

And yet . . . this is who we are, children of God. The dark nights will come. For some of us they have, again and again and again. And yet . . . as we look back we see. What? What the writer points to: "the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." The new life in Christ emerges stronger, more vibrant and the old-adam-nature is crushed and destroyed, beaten down even if not completely destroyed.

I can tell you no more than this. Do not throw away your faith. Only darkness and despair await if you do. Struggle, wrestle, scream, cry out, demand, pray, shout, but persist. We are Israelites after all. The story of Jacob's encounter with the LORD is ours. And from that encounter Jacob emerged as a changed man (Gen. 32:24-32). 

The Rod Of Discipline

In my previous blog I wrote about the value and importance of discipline (yacar -Hebr.). The Old Testament is filled with references to the LORD disciplining His people and thus treating them as His children.

And if in spite of this you will not listen to me, then I will discipline you again sevenfold for your sins, - Lev 26:18 ESV 

Out of heaven he let you hear his voice, that he might discipline you. And on earth he let you see his great fire, and you heard his words out of the midst of the fire. - Deut 4:36 ESV 

I will be to him a father, and he shall be to me a son. When he commits iniquity, I will discipline him with the rod of men, with the stripes of the sons of men, - 2Sa 7:14 ESV 

O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath! - Psa 38:1 ESV 

When you discipline a man with rebukes for sin, you consume like a moth what is dear to him; surely all mankind is a mere breath! Selah - Psa 39:11 ESV

The idea of the LORD disciplining His children in love carries forward into the New Testament

And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. - Hebrews 12:5-10 ESV

The Hebrews writer quotes from the Book of Proverbs:

My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights. - Prov 3:11-12 ESV 

Following the example of our LORD, Christian parents recognize the critical importance of discipline for our children. This will always involve our helping them to face up to their sins. This may indeed mean they suffer pain and loss for a time, as the writer to the Hebrews says,

In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. - Hebrews 12:4 ESV

Such discipline may well involve the rod of discipline (Prov. 22:15), but if it is applied, Christ's love must ever guide us, not anger, frustration or disgust. If any of us approaches the task of discipline in that manner, we ourselves are  in need of discipline. Our task is to discipline for the good of our children and then to forgive them as we ourselves are forgiven in Jesus.

Need more be said? The media is filled with many stories of children and youth driven to hurt, kill and destroy. Where was the discipline?

The Duty Of Parents To Discipline Their Children

We're examining the sad fact that many children are abused by parents and loved ones. In that connection I want to take another look at what the Bible says about the training and discipline of children. Here are some proverbs to guide us.

Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death. - Prov 19:18 ESV 

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. Prov 22:15 ESV 

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. - Pro 23:13-14 ESV 

The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. ... Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart. - Prov 29:15, 17 ESV

In Deuteronomy Moses writes about discipline (yacar) as the duty of parents. He notes that sometimes parents may try everything they can to get a child to listen and understand in vain. Finally, if he will not listen to them, they may have no recourse other than to bring him to trial before the elders of the city. He continues,

. . . then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, 'This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.' Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear. - Deut 21:19-21 ESV

Solomon urges parents to discipline their son so he is not put to death by the courts. Sad to say, thousands of rebellious sons from those days until now have received the judgment of capitol punishment in spite of their parents' training and guidance. At times this happened because parents failed to discipline and train them. The Proverbs above point out why discipline is so important.

Folly (ivveleth) is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. - Prov 22:15 ESV

This folly word is found frequently in the Proverbs. For instance,

He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray. - Prov 5:23 ESV 

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. 

A man of quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated.  

The crown of the wise is their wealth, but the folly of fools brings folly. - Prov 14:1, 17, 24 ESV 

Like it or not, the fact is that children inherit the sin and iniquity, the folly, of their parents. This is what David reflected upon after his own horrific sins of adultery and murder.

Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. - Psa 51:5 ESV

Our Lord Jesus taught the same about our sinful human flesh.

That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. - John 3:6 ESV

The Lord was speaking, of course, about the rebirth that comes from the creative work of the Holy Spirit. It is critical that parents bring their children to be baptized and taught the Good News of Jesus. Through these means the Spirit gives also our children a second birth. That is the promise. And happy is the home where Jesus and the Spirit dwell in love and forgiveness.

But parents face another task. They must help their children to face up to their sin, the rebelliousness that remains in the hearts of us all. The battle to overcome this inherited old Adam or old Eve, the sin passed on from generation to generation, remains throughout life. It is for this reason that the proverbs says: "Folly (ivveleth) is bound up in the heart of a child . . ." The critical question then is how to deal with this fact. How do parents discipline and teach their children to confront their sins, admit them, ask for and receive forgiveness and recommit themselves to following Jesus' path of love? This is what the proverbs are all about, even when they speak about the rod of discipline.

In my next post I will say more about methodology, about the how of training children and point you to some resources.