"It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.'But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery (Matthew 5:31-32).Who said, "give her a certificate of divorce"? Actually, Moses. Here's the quote:
"When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man's wife and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the LORD your God is giving you for an inheritance" (Deuteronomy 24:1-4).This passage was quoted by the Pharisees when they tested Jesus' teaching about marriage and divorce. There was an ongoing debate in those days about what "some indecency in her" meant. That's why these Pharisees asked, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?" (Matthew 19:3). The same question is raised by the Pharisees in the account from Mark's Gospel (Mark 10:2), but Jesus' answer is somewhat different in Mark's account. We will need to examine both Gospels to get a complete understanding of His answer and His teaching about divorce.
Some have taught that sexual immorality or what is called fornication is the one sole ground for divorce. That is not so. There is no biblical reason to limit the values or meaning of marriage to sexual faithfulness alone. In other words, we must view the entire context of marriage and the commitments made by the two who bind themselves to one another in marriage in order to understand when or why it is legal to divorce. Bear with me. This is going to take several postings in order to get the full picture. For today let us examine the teaching of Jesus about divorce a few sentences before the ones quoted above.
As we proceed, above all remember that Jesus did not come to destroy or subvert the teachings of the Old Covenant, the Law and the Prophets. He is one with His Father and the Holy Spirit who gave them to us through Moses. Rather He came to fulfill those teachings (Matt.5:17). He came to fill them to the very brim with deep, rich meaning for our lives, including our lives together as man and wife. He came to teach us what this institution of marriage is all about. That, of course, is what I've been attempting to demonstrate in earlier blogs.
So lets take a good hard look at Moses' teachings about divorce. Listen and watch as Jesus fills our cups to the top. And then let us drink it all.
Jesus starts with the commandment forbidding both men and women to commit adultery. To commit adultery—moixeuō in Greek—refers to the sexual act with one other than one's spouse (Deut. 5:18). But is that the full meaning of the commandment? What sin is this commandment revealing? The physical act? To be sure, but there is more. Jesus turns especially to the men in his audience as He says,
"But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matt. 5:28).Lustful intent speaks about passion, longing, intense desire, even coveting and wanting what does not belong to you. It is not wrong to look at at another with interest. This looking may refer to finding a particular woman interesting, intelligent, discovering the two of you have common interests in addition or even instead of physical attractiveness. All this goes on in the heart, in the inner man. But what happens next is critical. If this looking turns to lust, adultery has already begun. The commitment to one's wife has been broken even though the physical act may never happen!
OK, guys, what about it? No sin in our marriages? We can sound so self-righteous, but let's be honest. That's what Jesus demanded when some of them dragged a woman in front of him who had been caught in adultery. "Teacher," they said, "this woman has been caught in the very act" (John 8:4). This was clearly forbidden and they had the required witnesses to prove it (Deut.17:2-7). Given that, they had the responsibility to stone her to death. So what did this vaunted teacher from Galilee have to say about that? Was he going to stand up for the institution of marriage and protect the community? Notice that they didn't drag the man along with the woman.
Jesus said nothing for a time, but merely scratched in the ground with his finger. Then he stood and spoke directly to the men who had dragged her out there. "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her," He said. Then he bent down and began to scratch again.
The older men were the first to leave. They knew their own hearts better than the others. One by one they walked away. And then so did the young men until there was no one left. When Jesus finally asked her where her accusers were she replied that there were none. "Neither do I accuse you," He said. "Go and sin no more."
Yes, she had sinned. She had broken her marriage vows. But so had all those men who condemned her. This is critical as we proceed with this discussion of marriage and divorce. We husbands and wives are all guilty of sinning against one another and against God. But in Christ we who are forgiven again and again forgive one another—even for adultery.
Is there ever then any reason for divorce? More on this the next time.
I have been in a marriage for 28 years and my husband verbally and emotionally abuses me daily. When other people are around his whole demeanor changes and he is attentive to me and speaks highly of me. When we are out of earshot of our friends the verbal abuse begins. He is always angry at me. I am 63 years old now and do not want to be alone, but find myself dreaming of starting a new life away from this mental abuse. What does the Lord teach about a woman divorcing her husband because he does not love her?
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