Beginning A New Family

Next Sunday is Mother's Day here in the U.S.A. I'm veering off that national topic by asking for a national celebration of  Family Day, especially since the Biblical concepts of marriage and family are now under severe attack on many fronts.

The Canadian provinces of Alberta, Saskatchewan and Ontario commemorate the importance of their families on on the third Monday of February. Family Day is also a public holiday in South Africa, in Vanuatu, in Vietnam and as "Family & Community Day" in the Australian Capital Territory.

Here in the U.S.A. Family Day is a state holiday in Nevada, celebrated on the day after Thanksgiving, i.e. the Friday following the fourth Thursday in November.[5]  American Family Day is a state holiday in Arizona and has been celebrated on the first Sunday in August since 1978.

Family Day was also launched here in the U.S. in 2001 by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University. Their Family Day is a national movement to celebrate parental engagement as an effective tool to help keep America’s kids substance free. Quite obviously we need to do more than celebrate one day out of the year. Together we must help families confront the multitude of forces at work to destroy them.

Families begin with marriage and marriage is always defined in the Bible as the union of one man and one woman. This definition goes back to the beginning of Creation. Over the years I've offered counsel to men and women planning marriage based upon this passage of Holy Scripture:

So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. - Gen 2:21-25 ESV

My comments are based upon three concepts lifted up in the quoted verses, based in part upon the KJV translation of these words:

• Leave - Therefore a man shall leave his father and  his mother
• Cleave - Hold fast to his wife (cleave once meant adhere closely or remain faithful to)
• Weave - They shall become one flesh

I am summarizing the discussions I have with couples in this week's postings. Here's what we talk about.

I. Leave - Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother

Marriage is between one man and one woman. It is not the union of two families even though it is vital that you both recognize that you are joining one another's families. Unfortunately, some parents do not want to release their son or their daughter to marriage. What about your parents?  Will they feel they have to steer and guide your marriage? Perhaps you've known, as have I, some parents who even accompanied the new couple on their honeymoon.

You both need to talk with one another about your families. Here are some things to consider: What is your family like? Are you a close-knit family? Will your family care if you do not join them for every holiday? Will your mother feel it is her duty to give you advice on housekeeping and child rearing? Will you expect it? What about your Dad? How is your relationship with him?

The Biblical word for leave (azav -Hebr.) does indeed mean to leave behind, forsake, let go. With this in mind you must not let others in the family interfere in your marriage. The task you face is to make your own decisions. Will you be able to do that? Do you even want to?

On the other hand, that does not mean that you cut off all ties with your families. The challenge is to learn how to join your families and develop loving relationships. The commandment to honor parents (Exod. 20:12; Deut. 5:16) does not cease with marriage. However, relationships with parents, siblings, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. dare not come at the expense of your marriage.

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That's enough to get the juices going. We'll have more to talk about next time.